When it came to impressing our parents, Emily never set the bar very high. I'm sure our parents had high hopes for her seeing as she was always on honor roll and got into NYU; she was one of those rebellious kids who hosted huge parties when she had the house to herself and drove the car when she wasn't supposed to, and also managed to graduate high school with honors and two awards. Something happened after high school though, or maybe it began her senior year. Her rebellion turned into habit and that opportunity she had to go to NYU slipped between her fingers as she struggled with depression. Of course, being her sister, I supported any decision she made but I am also seven years younger. I looked up to her most of my life, but it didn't take long for me to wiggle into the lifestyle she exemplified.
For a thirteen year-old I had done and seen some regrettable things that even now at twenty-one can't fathom experiencing. Though I was able to make my own decisions at thirteen, I would never dream of turning down a request from my sister. I tried to dress like her, I listened to the same music as her, and I even tried to speak like her. It wasn't until one day, and I remember it so clearly, that I realized maybe she didn't look at me the same way I looked at her. I asked her to drive me to my friends house, just 20 minutes up the road, and I had no problem when she said "I need to stop by my friends house really quick, it wont take long."
She parked across the street and one house down from the front door she walked into, but since she asked me to stay in the car I couldn't even see who answered. She wouldn't tell me the persons name, and all she told me was that it would take "five minutes tops". I think about an hour went by and she wasn't answering my calls. Just as I was about to call my mom to come get me, I looked up and there she was standing by the drivers-side window. She got in and apologized for taking so long. I didn't think much about it then, but I knew something was up. I suspected she had taken some drugs, or maybe just fell asleep judging by how zoned out she was and how poorly she was driving. Ever since that day I've been a little afraid to get in the car with my sister, and ever since that day I decided never to tell my parents when I was nervous to be around her. She assumed I wouldn't tell them, and I obliged not to. She didn't even have to say anything. I just knew.
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